Blinded by Love
by Tenor Saxophonist
Summary: All Human. Edward and Bella have best friends forever. Edward begins to feel a bit more than friendship for Bella, but will disablity stand in the way? "M" for Lemons* in later chapters and naughty language.
1. Friendship

This story is all human.

Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

**  
Friendship**

**  
EPOV**

"Bella!" I called from down in her kitchen, "We are going to be late!"

I sighed as I climbed the stairs to Bella's room. I've always walked over to her house since I learned the route from my house. Her piece of junk she calls a trunk is slower than a pile of molasses on a hot summer day but she always insists on driving me to school. I felt down the door until I grasped the doorknob. I approaching her bed cautiously, tapping the end lightly with my metal cane to be sure. I found the hem of her comforter and tossed it off her like I did most mornings.

"Good morning," I said pleasantly.

"Good morning, Edward," she grumbled.

"Bella, we are going to be late if you don't hurry," I said trying to get her to move a bit faster.

"Hang on, I'm almost dressed," she said from across the room.

I felt the blood rush to my cheeks as I realized that she was changing the same room with me.

"All done!" she said cheerfully.

"What changed your morning bitterness?" I chuckled quietly.

"Oh, I'm just excited for that chemistry lab we are performing in chemistry class," she said tugging on my hand. Electricity shot through hers to mine like it normally did. My mind began to wander as I wondered if she felt it too.

"What's got you so dazed?" she asked as she led me to her truck. I climbed into the passenger side and slipped on my shades so no one knew what me clouded eyes truly looked like.

I didn't want to admit that I was thinking about her soft hand that was still inside of mine. "I was just thinking that the lab is going to be difficult. It didn't come from the book, so it isn't in Braille."

She took her hand from mine, and I instantly missed the warmth…wait. Why was I thinking this way? Bella, the girl who has stuck by my side since I was five. Why was I beginning to miss her hand? Bella often sleep in my bed when she came over to visit my sister Alice because I was the only one who could sooth her nightmares.

"Don't worry, Edward," she said, "I'll read it to you."

The school had ordered me a special Braille textbook so I was able to participate in class. Not many of the students, however, enjoyed working with me since I was a bit uncoordinated during labs. Mr. Banner had paired me with Bella after realizing how close we were.

"Edward, are you alright?" Bella asked her voice filled with concern.

I nodded and stepped out of her truck and headed into the school. I had memorized my way around, but Bella had all the same classes as me and didn't seem to mind walking with me. I had to carry a bag with all my books considering I can't open my locker.

Chemistry class was fun today. Bella and I had the most successful reaction to the mixture, and I actually was able to do my fair share of work.

The rest of the day went quickly, and before I knew it, I was climbing into her truck.

"Where to?" she asked.

Bella and I were study buddies. It came with the package of being her best friend. She would either come to my house, or I would stay at hers. Charlie and I got along fine, but I knew he didn't like me hanging around with his daughter. Bella had come to my house crying because Charlie accused her of dating me, and he wanted her to have no relationship with her friendship or not.

"Bella, I had a bit of a rough day. Would you mind dropping me off at my house? I need to be alone for a while. I'll call you later. I'm sure Alice would love to see you."

"Of course," she said but her voice was deepened with a hint of sorrow.

It was true. I often daydreamed about being able to see, but sometimes when I snapped back to reality it just hurt so badly.

"Call me later," Bella said as I headed for my house.

I gave her a little grunt.

"Goodbye," I heard her softly whisper brokenly as she roared up the engine and left. I was disgusted with myself. Not only was I miserable, but I hurt Bella by rejecting her company. I hurried toward my room that was thankfully located on the first floor. It was hidden under the stairs, but was the biggest bedroom in the house. I preferred it that way. Connected to my room was a small music room that no one dared to enter without my permission. It was only in there that I could express myself freely without being judged. I sat down at my baby grand piano and began to play Bella's lullaby that I had composed for her when we were both fourteen. As the last note came to an end, so did I. I tried to get up from the bench, but fell to the floor for I was weaker than I thought. Sobs ripped up my throat. Curled up in a ball, I sobbed on the floor like a helpless creature.

"Edward!" a familiar voice gasped. Bella ran to me and tried to comfort me. She helped me up and led me to my bed. I collapsed and turned away from her.

"Please go home," I pleaded, "I don't want you to see me like this."

Her hand ran through my unruly hair. "Edward, you have always been strong for me. You were always there when I cried or need help. Now it's your turn. Let me be strong for you," she whispered.

That broke me. I turned to her and rested my head on what felt like her lap and cried for what seemed like days.

"You don't understand…" I mumbled, but I was too far under. I fell asleep on her soft thighs.


	2. Strength

Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer

* * *

**Strength**

**  
BPOV**

Edward's head rested on my lap, and I gently ran my hand through his hair. Esme entered the room quietly to see if we were alright.

"Can you call Charlie for me?" I asked. "I think I should stay here tonight."

Esme nodded and left us. She truly was like a second mom to me. We had planned Edward's eighteenth birthday surprise party together. We were only three months apart, but his birthday was in a few days.

I slipped Edward's glasses off and set them on his side table. Without disturbing him, I gently moved him, and slid under the covers. His arms naturally wound around me, and he pulled me in close.

I meant what I said when I told him it was my turn to be strong. He had always been there for me. Even the time Charlie had accused me.

(Flashback)

…………………………………………………………………

"Bella, I need to talk to you," Charlie said one night staring at his thirteen year old daughter.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I don't want you hanging around Edward so much," he said warily.

"Why?" I asked quiet confused.

"Well, he is a boy, and at his age his hormones are raging," Charlie started.

"What?" I asked still confused. "Edward is my very best friend, and he would never try anything on me. We aren't even dating!"

"Bella, I want you to have some normal friends-,"

"Edward is normal!" I screamed through my sobs. I ran out of the house, ignoring my father's yells, and ran straight to my best friend. I banged my fist on the front door to have it opened by Esme.

"Bella, darling, are you alright?"

I nodded silently, and ran into Edward's room. He was asleep already, but I climb right up on his bed and cried until my eyes burned. He took me gently in his arms and rocked my slowly until I was asleep. In the morning I explained what had happened. Edward wasn't angry, but he was determined to show Charlie he could be the greatest friend ever. To me, he succeeded.

……………………………………………………………………

I heard Edward sniffle, and I knew he was awake.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked.

"You don't understand how if feels not to even be able to see your best friend," he whispered. He pulled me closer so I couldn't see his face. "I don't even know what I look like or what colors are. All I know is darkness."

Edward had always accepted the fact that he was blind, but every once in a while, he would give anything for a few minutes of sight.

"Come, Edward, I'll make you your favorite pasta," I sighed pulling away. He was reluctant, but finally released me. I tugged on his hand. "I'll make you some hot chocolate, too," I bribed. He smiled and followed me into the kitchen.

"Thank you, Bella," he said quietly once he had finished his meal.

"Do you mind if I spend the night?" I asked. "I already had Esme call Charlie to tell him I was, but I can leave if you want me to."

He rested his head on the table. "Please stay," he murmured. I smiled to myself.

**  
EPOV**

After Bella and I read the assigned chapter for Language Arts, I turned on Debussy's piano classics, and turned to Bella.

"Would you rather spend the night in Alice's room?" I asked not really wanting her to leave.

"Do I ever stay in Alice's room when I spend the night?" she asked sarcastically. "What if I have a nightmare?"

"I guess you're right," I chuckled trying to lighten the mood.

I felt her crawl up on the bed and wrap her arms around me. I did the same like we normally did. It was an off night when we didn't hold each other through the night.

I awoke in the middle of the night to hear Bella mumbling in her sleep like always.

"Where are you, Edward?" she murmured softly her eyebrows knitting together.

"I'm right here, sweetheart," I whispered.

"Why can't I see you?"

"I can't see you either," I whispered back. I released her from my embrace and turned from her. Silent tears ran down my cheeks, and I let weakness have me once again.


	3. Temper Temper

All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer

* * *

Temper

I heard Bella stir and silently prayed that she wouldn't find me like this. Unfortunately, things don't usually go my way.

"Edward?" Bella asked quietly touching my shoulder. I shrugged it off. "Edward, it's going to be okay."

Her soothing words did just the opposite of what she meant to do.

"Leave me alone, Bella. Go away," I whispered.

"Fine! If you want to sit here and pretend that I haven't stayed with you all these years when neither of us had any friends, then fine, I'll go!"

She rushed out of my room, and I sat there for a few moments processing what had happened. Finally, I grabbed my cane and slowly climbed the stairs. I found Alice's door and knocked quietly. She opened the door.

"What's wrong, Edward?" Alice asked sleepily.

"Is Bella in there?"

"No, I didn't even know that she spent the night. Why, what happened?"

"I don't have time to explain," I said quickly.

Once I finally made it back downstairs, I found my way outside. I called for her quietly, but soon realized she had left just like I had told  
her to. I felt like stone, hardened, unloved, and cold. I sunk to the porch floor in defeat.

**  
APOV**

Two weeks have gone by, and I've never seen Edward in such a mess. Bella and he haven't fixed their fight, and they rarely see each other anymore.

"This has to end," I argued with Edward one day.

"She doesn't want to be my friend anymore," he grumbled.

"And how do you know that!" I yelled.

"She…she won't talk to me. We sit side-by-side in every class, but when I need her help, she won't talk about it. She just does whatever I ask."

"Have you tried talking to her?" I asked my voice softening.

"No," he mumbled quietly.

"There is the problem! You told her to leave that night, so she did. Now she is afraid _you _don't want to be friends with _her._ She is also my friend, Edward, don't be selfish and don't let her go."

He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me into a tight hug. "I need her," he whispered, "She means everything to me."

"Somebody is in love," I giggled.

"Alice," he groaned, "don't do this right now."

"I'll drop you off at her house," I said.

**  
EPOV**

Ten minutes later, I was on her doorstep ready to set things straight. I knocked on the door to hear Charlie's loud footsteps approach.

"What do you want, Edward?" he asked rather rudely.

"I need to see Bella."

"I'm sorry, but Bella doesn't want to see you. I would appreciate it if you went home. I can call Alice for you if you like."

"Mr. Swan, when I said I needed to see Bella, it was a demand not a request," I snapped back.

I pushed my way in and climbed the stairs with ease. I had memorized my way around her house. I threw myself through the door. I heard a small gasp before Bella flew into my arms. Her soft lips pressed to my cheek.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be sorry," I whispered back tightening my grip on her. "It was my entire fault. I shouldn't have told you to go. I don't ever what you to leave. You're my best friend, and I can still remember the day I met you. I need you, Bella."

She was sobbing by the time I had finished. "I shouldn't have ignored you like that. Your friendship keeps me happy."

The door slammed open.

"Is that boy hurting you, Bells?" Charlie demanded.

I assumed he saw our embrace and left quickly.

"Don't ever leave me again," Bella whispered.

"I wouldn't dream of it," I smiled to myself.

* * *

Aww, poor Eddie. I promise the next couple chapters won't be so...sappy. ;)

Sorry about all the crying.


	4. Dateless Nights

**Sorry for any grammer/spelling mistakes. I finished this chapter really late at night.**

All characters belong to SM

Just to clear things up:

Edward: 18

Bella: 17

Jasper: (Edward's bro) 19

Alice: (Jasper's gal) 18

Emmett: (Edward's bro) 21

Rose: (Emmett's lady) 20

* * *

Dateless Nights

**BPOV**

"Hey, Bella, do you want to go shopping with me?" Jessica asked. "I need to get a couple new pairs of shoes."

"Sorry, Jess, I'm busy tonight," I said.

I was waiting for Edward to join me when Mike came up behind me. "Bella, I was wondering if you would like to go on a date tonight."

"Uh…I'm busy tonight," I said quickly.

"Well, what are you up to?" he prompted.

"It's Edward's and my music night. Every Friday we hang out. Sorry," I mumbled. I truly wasn't sorry, but cruelty just wasn't my game.

"Well…call me later!" he mumbled turning a deep shade of red. I stayed silent. "Or, I can call you."

"Excuse me, but that is my seat," Edward's musical voice rang out. I felt a wave of relief as he took a seat nest to me. Mike huffed and stormed away from the table.

"Bella, I know that was Mike. I want you to go out with him tonight and have a good time. There is no reason for you to go out on a Friday night."

"I don't want to go out with Mike. I would rather spend every Friday night of my life with you than go on one date with him." I argued.

A grin lit up Edward's face, and I was glad he couldn't see me blush.

"I refused to have you hog Bella all to yourself, Edward." Alice grumbled. "Tonight, we all are having a music festival party!"

**  
EPOV**

Bella went home that evening to prepare for our "party." I waited patiently for her to arrive. I heard a car pull up and hoped that it was Alice and Bella.

"The party has arrived!" Alice called.

I rushed out of my room to be greeted by a warm hug. Her hair smelled like sweet strawberries and freshly picked freesias.

"Music time!" Alice exclaimed. "I have six whole play lists set up for us tonight."

The Beatles' music calmed the house with its notes of love and peace until everyone was drunk on music. The last song came on, and both Bella and I recognized it at once.

Clair de Lune filled the quiet room, and I made my way to stand. "May I have this dance?" I asked Bella.

"I would be honored," she replied quietly.

Her warmth wrapped around me, and I was in heavenly bliss. I pulled her in tight, and we simply swayed back and forth until Alice shut the music off.

"Time to play a game!" she yelled.

"How about spin the bottle?" Emmett asked.

"That's too childish. Let's play…Truth or Dare!" Rosalie said excitedly.

We gathered in a circle.

"Emmett, truth or dare?" Alice asked.

"Dare!" he exclaimed.

"I dare you not to touch Rose in anyway," Jasper chimed in.

Bella giggled, and I assumed that Emmett's face must have priceless.

"Bella!" Emmett shot back, "Truth or dare?"

"Dare," she said slowly.

"I dare you to kiss Edward," he laughed.

I froze and felt blood rush to my cheeks. The tension increased as I felt Bella lean towards be. Her smooth lips touched my cheek for only a short moment, but I was desperate for more. I quickly but delicately cupped her cheek and pressed my lips gently to hers. Alice gasped quietly. I quickly dropped from Heaven to Hell when I noticed she wasn't responding.

I released her suddenly and rushed off to hide in my room. I touched my lips and remember how soft hers were. At least I could say that a girl's lips touched mine before I die.

Focusing on the soft kiss, I fell into a light uneasy sleep.

I heard the door creak open. Bella's warm scent washed over me as she crawled next to me. I did my best to act asleep. Her lips ghosted across mine.

"If only you knew," she whispered softly in my ear.

With a finally kiss on the cheek, she snuggled into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her in closer. She sighed softly in contentment.

The next morning was extremely awkward. Bella and I didn't speak much, so Alice kept Bella all to herself. Actually, I didn't even get to say goodbye when Bella left the house after Alice and her returned from the mall.

The next day, Alice insisted on driving Bella, so I caught an uncomfortable ride with Emmett who stopped to pick up Rose.

"So, Edward," Emmett started. God, he sucked at small talk. "Why aren't you walking to Bella's house like you normally do?"

"Alice demanded that I let her today," I grumbled. "She wouldn't even let me ride in the car. Sorry about having to make you drag me along."

"No problem, bro," Emmett said chuckling.

At last, we made it to school. When I made it to class, I noticed that Bella was rather quiet. I hated myself at that moment. Damn it! I had made our friendship awkward…again!

"Bella," I started slowly, "do you want to come over and study for the geometry test with me?"

"Sorry, Edward, I promise Charlie I would cook him a special fish-stir fry."

Damn it! I cursed silently again.

"Spring break starts next Monday. Are you still going to come over for our Friday music fest?" I asked hopeful.

"I…I don't know if I can. I told Angela that I would go shopping with her for a prom dress. Erik finally asked her out after all this time."

_  
Keep pushing it, Edward! _The little voice told me. _Denied twice is pretty bad. Maybe you should stick to playing piano for mom. _

I had actually forgotten about prom. It wasn't until three weeks after spring break. I idly wondered who Bella would agree to go with. My heart yelled at me. _Grow some balls and ask her you dumb ass! _

The rest of the day went so slow I thought I was going to fall asleep in English. No one would have notice since I refused to take off my glasses.

I went home with Emmett and Rose again. My mind r effused to pay attention to the math I was cramming, but all I could think about was Bella's kiss.

I picked up my phone and pressed one. Bella was set to speed dial.

"Hello?" she answered stressed and rudely.

"Uh- I'll call b- back later," I stuttered before hanging up. I smacked myself in the forehead. Of course she didn't want to talk to me! Why else would she avoid me at school? She had probably asked Alice to take instead of me coming to her house everyday.

My phone rang snapping me out of my daydream. It was Bella. II had Alice set special ring tones for everyone. I sent her straight to voicemail. Five minutes later, my phone rang again. I decided to turn my phone off and let her leaveall the damn messages she wanted. My alarm screamed shrilly from my side table. I turned my phone back on so I could listen to the messages.

_  
"Edward, please pick up your phone. Call me back."_

_  
"Edward, I'm sorry I snapped at you. I've been stresses lately. Please, call me back."_

_  
"What the hell is wrong with you, Edward Anthony Cullen? Are you bipolar or something?" _

_  
"Call me back."_

She filled up my entire voicemail message box. _Way to go, Assward. You just fucked up your relationship with Bella again. _

Alice took me to school. When I asked her why she wasn't driving Bella, she didn't say anything. I couldn't wait to get to school. I could go and apologize to Bella a million times, and I could ask her to prom.

When I got to class, I found an unpleasant surprise. Bella wasn't here.

* * *

Just because Emmett doesn't go to school doesn't mean he can't drive Edward :~P

Reviews make me type faster. *wink wink*


	5. Missing You

All characters belong to SM

* * *

Missing You

Mr. Banner excused me from class since they were doing a lab that required a reader. All the other students had partners, and I left the room in relief.

I took my folded up cane from my back pocket. I slow began my journey outside by the nearby grassy area. I heard footsteps travel closer to me as I found my way around. I felt a leather material softly brush my arm.

"Hey! Watch where you are going, blind-as-a-bat boy," a guff voice barked out.

"Leave him alone!" Bella's beautiful voice rang out.

The boy shoved me against what I assumed was the drinking fountain and knocked the breath out of me.

"I said, leave him alone!" Bella shouted.

I heard flesh collide with flesh, and I sighed in relief as the boy walk away angrily. His spot was replaced with Bella. I took her in my arms before she had a chance to refuse.

"Thank you," I whispered softly.

"Come on," she said pulling away, "I'll take you home."

She took my arm and walked rather quickly to her car. I came to a halt, and I felt Bella's gaze on me.

"Edward, what are you doing? Class is about to let out, and if we want to ditch, we better hurry!" Bella said.

I nodded curtly in what I hoped was her direction and continued to follow her. Bella and I had often ditched school if it was a particularly warm  
day. I couldn't be happier. This was the last day before spring break, and I wanted to be with Bella every moment of it.

"Why weren't you in class?" I asked.

"I had to come in early to complete a couple applications for college with Miss Killen. We didn't notice the time until the bell had rung. Apparently, you were released before I could make it to class. Mr. Banner sent me after you in hopes that you hadn't caught a ride yet."

I listened eagerly to every word that left her mouth. The car came to a stop, and I assumed we were parked at my house.

"Won't you come in, Bella? There is so much I want to talk about."

"I have to get home before Charlie finds out I ditched. I'll talk to you later," she said and left before I could say good-bye.

Sighing quietly, I made my way to my room to rest. I fell asleep before my head touched the pillows.

"Edward? Edward, wake up. Edward!" Bella poked me in the side in attempt to wake me.

I turned over and held out my arms. She huffed in aggravation, but she climb into my arms anyway.

"So," she said awkwardly, "you said that there was stuff you wanted to talk about?"

"I'm sorry," I breathed softly in her ear. My lips automatically touched her ear with extreme gentleness. Her body stiffened in my arms, and I began to whisper my apologies.

"Bella, I'm sorry I ignored all your call in attempt to reach me. I'm sorry that I was such a jerk to you. I'm sorry that I can see you. I'm sorry that you have to take care of me like I'm a child, and I'm sorry for being blind."

She was choking for breath by the time I had finished. Failing, Bella began to hyperventilate as she sobbed loudly.

"Why?Why do you continue to do this!?" she cried out pulling away from me. "You actually think that I regret or dislike taking care of you? You think that because you are blind that you can't be my best friend? I'm glad you are blind. Everyone else judges me for how I look, but you don't because it doesn't matter to you!" she yelled.

Body shaking, I sat quietly on the bed as I listened to her angry pacing footsteps. They stopped abruptly.

"What do you want from me? She asked quietly.

"…Bella," I whispered.

Her footsteps began again, but they were directed for me. A sob ripped up her throat, and her lips touched mine. I froze trying to decide what to  
do. Bella tugged on my hair urging me to respond. Slowly, I moved my lips with hers, and I felt the wetness of her tongue on my lower lip. My lips separated as instinct took over, and I met her tongue with my own. Her arms wound around my neck, and I was leaned back on the bed. I released her mouth so she could breathe, and I planted soft kisses along her neck.

"Edward," she moaned softly.

The beautiful sound that left her lips burned my ears. This wasn't the right thing to do. Neither of us were thinking rationally.

"Bella, stop," I urged.

Confused, she lifted off of me.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

I shock my head trying to find words, and I heard her breathing hitch.

"I don't want this," I whispered lying through my teeth.

"You…you don't want me?" her voice trembled.

"No," my heart tore as I spoke the words. "Your life will be better without, and it is time to move on. It will be like I never existed."

"No…no!" she blubbered.

"Be safe," I said as a farewell.

She screamed as she ran from my room.

"I love you," my words flowed trying to catch up with her ears.

****

BPOV

_  
"I love you." _

His finally words have haunted me for the past three months. Twin tears ran down my face as I look over the cliff at La Push. Alice and I were the  
only ones who talked anymore. I tried to avoid the Edward subject, but he always came up one way or another. Apparently, he was finishing his schooling at home…so he could be away from me.

Spring break had just started when he said he didn't want me anymore, and my life went spiraling down in despair. I was almost sure my eyes  
would be forever red from the daily crying. Charlie sent me to the therapist after finding me past out when I had cut my wrist. I can still remember the blood as it dripped down to my fingertips hanging on for life.

My hair whipped around my face, and I wrapped my arms around my body as a soft spring breeze blow by.

"I thought I might find you here," Alice's tiny voice rang.

"What do you want, Alice? I came here to relax and be alone not to be bothered by you." I dished out rudely.

A heavy sigh was lost in the wind as she took a seat next to me.

"Edward is miserable without you. Please come to my house and visit for a few hours," she pleaded.

Closing my eyes, I blew out a mouthful of air. "Do you remember the last time I 'visited?'

(Flashback) Two weeks after the fight.

……………………………………………………………………

Alice drugged me into the house by the arm.

"He'll be happy to know that you are here," Alice insisted. I noticed that she didn't say "see."

"Edward! There is someone here I think you will be happy to visit with," the annoying little pixie called.

"What the hell do you want? I thought I told you to leave me alone."

"Bella is here," Alice whispered in a rather soft tone.

Edward's body froze in place, and I saw his hand ball up into fists.

"I told you to go away! Move on, and find some other guy to cling to like a toy. Don't come back, Bella!" he spat my name like a swear word.

Tears welled up in my eyes for the second time, and I rushed out of the room despite Alice's calls.

(End Flashback)

……………………………………………………………………

Her voice was unusually quiet. "He needs you."

More tears ran the length of my face as I clung to her. Her arms wound around me as Edward's use to. The tears flowed faster.

"D- did he ever f- find his b- b- birthday gift?" my voice trembled with more threatening sobs.

"I don't think he did," she said her voice still almost silent. "I'll make sure he opens it."

****

EPOV

Alice handed me a long box, and I opened it wearily. I found leather bound case. Alice helped me open it, and inside was dozens of sheets of papers. All of them were filled with Braille writing. I ran my hand across the first page.

_  
June 2nd, 2004_

_  
Today, Edward and I went to the meadow we discovered together. I'm so jealous of his hiking skills! He's blind, but he can still hike better than I can. Anyway, he talked to me for hours about how Carlisle and Esme decided to throw a huge Fourth of July party. He even took of his glasses for me. Beautiful sparkling green eyes shined in the sun when he threw his head back to laugh. Today was a great day. _

She had given all of her journal entries since we were young teenagers. All of them were in Braille. Tears pricked my eyes, and I knew I had to find her without the help of my family. Alice couldn't be my eyes for this mission. Without my eyes, I would have to search for her with my heart instead.

* * *

I'm sorry that all that chapters are about the crying. :(

It will be getting happy really soon.

Reviews help me type faster. ;~)


	6. Die Trying

**All characters belong to SM**

* * *

Die Trying

_  
August 11, 2005_

_  
Vile Mike Newton took me on my first date. I paid for the movie and the popcorn! During the movie, he tried to kiss me. I was so disgusted that I left the theater, and I left him stranded as I drove home in my rusty old truck. Of course, Edward was excited to know how my first date went, as any good friend would, and comforted after I spilled the news of the almost kiss. Edward took me to the meadow to try to help me relax. The sun was out, and I was lucky enough to get him to take his glasses off. The sun shimmered in his glassy eyes, and I smiled to myself. He would never have to know that I wasn't the most attractive girl, and I know that he'll always be here for me when I need him. Most other teenagers at school snicker at me when I read something to Edward or when I lead him somewhere, but I smile with pride. People don't understand the love I have with Edward-_

My heart thumped when I ran my fingers over the word "love."

_  
-He's my very best friend, and I wouldn't trade him for the world. Anyway, I asked him to kiss me today. I never caught me staring absently at his lips since he couldn't see. I agreed, and I could see his hands tremble as he cupped my face. I leaned in close, but only to be surprised that his nose softly bumped mine. His lips missed mine and touched my cheek instead. We both split apart laughing. After settling down, Edward leaned back into the wind blown grass. I took the opportunity to rest my head on his chest. Our silence wasn't an awkward one, and I closed my eyes to daydream about what his lips would have felt like on mine. I feel asleep in bliss. _

I remembered the day like it was yesterday. Bella had come to my house an hour early from her date. I hadn't expected her so soon, but I was happy to have her near. I was so excited to have her ask me to kiss her that I tremble with the fear that I wouldn't do it right. Unfortunately, I missed her lips and landed on her warm cheek instead. I laughed with her to ease the tension, but I couldn't help but to regret not worshiping those lovely lips with my own. I stood up and smiled wickedly.

"Alice, can you be a driver today?" I asked kindly.

"I have to study for exams! Not everybody is as smart as you," she grumbled.

I jutted out my lip. "It's for Bella," I whispered quietly.

"On second thought, I would love to take you out today!" she said grabbing me by the arm and dragging me to her Porsche.

"Can we stop by her house?" I asked.

"Of course, Edward, we'll find her one way or another," Alice said excitedly. I could hear her bouncing in her seat. Alice climbed out of the car with me when we stopped at Bella's house. I knocked politely at the door. I heard Charlie's loud footsteps moved across the floor.

"Hello, Edward, Alice," he said in a gruff voice.

"Is Bella here?" Alice asked in a sickly sweet voice.

"Nope," Charlie said. "She has been spending quite a bit of time down by La Push. She already went grocery shopping, so I don't think she is out in town."

"Thank you kindly," I said sticking my hand out. He grasped it firmly.

"You better make things right with my baby girl. She doesn't deserve to be miserable."

I knew for a fact what he said was true. Bella didn't deserve to be pushed away so many times and then be expected to come right back into my pitiful arms. As soon as Charlie closed, Alice and I hurried back to the car and raced off to La Push. Our family was rarely seen there. We had our own pool so there was no need for a lake.

"I think I see her," Alice said, and I could tell she was squinting to get a good look. "Oh my God…."

"What!?" I panicked.

"She's going to jump…off the cliff into the raging sea," her voice was barely audible.

I jumped out of the car and ran full speed in the direction Alice had told me to go.

"Bella, don't do it!" I cried.

"Edward, your voice is so beautiful," she sighed.

"Good-bye, Edward," she whispered, and by the sound of the wind, I knew that she had jumped. Without a second thought, I dived after her. My arms gather her tight to my body as we fell farther together.

"Edward, you look so different than in my other hallucinations," Bella said as we continued to fall. I silently wondered when we would hit water.

"I'm real!" I shouted. "I'm here with you!"

"No, the real Edward didn't want me. It feels so good to be back in your arms. I love you."

My lungs filled with water, and my body froze in cold water. Bella began to slip from my hands as we were thrashed around by the current.

I cling to her as I struggled to keep us above water. My head hit a rock, and I begun to sink. More water flooded my lungs, and I felt my body go numb. My mind failed to command my body top keep me swimming, and I sank further. Bella's voice echoed in my mind. _I love you. _No! I have to do this for Bella. I kicked my frozen limbs wildly until I broke through the surface. I swam to the side that I hoped I was closet to, and something grabbed me.

"Edward! What the hell were you think!" Alice shrieked as I pulled Bella out of the water. Pushing Alice out of the way, I breathed air into Bella and pumped her heart. As soon as I heard her cough up water, I knew my battle was won. I crawled to the side and passed out.

"Bella!" I jolted up right in a soft bed. Groping at things around me, I found that Bella was safely tucked into my side. It had all been a very horrible dream. I snuggled back under the covers, pressed my nose to her hair, breathed in the wondrous smell of strawberry shampoo, and fell into the first peace sleep I have experienced in a while.

**  
BPOV**

My lungs refused the water as I coughed, and it all came pouring out. Someone grabbed my shoulders to stabilize me as I tried to catch my breath. Who ever had a hold of my arms pushed me back down to the ground, and I looked through my clouded eyes.

"Alice?" I whispered. My throat burn as I tried to talk. She shushed me.

"Bella, just relax. I'm going to get you and Edward home," Alice soothed.

"Edward?" I hadn't realized that he was even there.

I look down next to me and gasped. A gash was sliced deep in his forehead. Blood dripped from his wound. The rusty salt smell wafted my way, and I felt my eyes dim again.

I felt the bed shift. Peeking one eye open, I saw the Edward was heading towards the door.

"Where are you going?" I asked. My voiced was raspy and raw.

"I'm just getting up to use the restroom. I'll be back momentarily," he smiled.

"How are you feeling?" I asked before he exited the room.

"I feel fine, but I do have a killer headache," he said. "I'll go get you some Tylenol," I sighed.

I white linen cloth adored his head, and Carlisle had to change it several times it stop the bleeding. I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"I was so worried,"

"Why?" he asked.

I cupped his face. How could he not remember jumping off a cliff and saving my life while I tried to die because of him? I pressed me lips to his softly.

"You saved me from Death's clutches," I whispered.

"It wasn't a nightmare," he murmured to himself.

Something inside of him seemed to have snapped as he buried his face in my hair. "Oh, Bella," said whispered, his voice thick. "I almost lost you. All I heard was Alice's screams. Please don't do that to me again."

My relaxation swiftly turned to fury. I was beginning to wonder if I was bipolar.

"Do that to _you_?" I asked. "Do you know what I went through? I had to go to a fucking therapist because of you!"

"Shh," Edward shushed pulling me back into his arms. "I'm so sorry. It should have been me that jump. I haven't left the house since I told you to leave. I can't live without you. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if anything happened to you. Please don't be angry."

Just like that, my rage vanished, and I fell forward in his arms.

"I'll never let you let go of me again. It doesn't matter what you say, I refuse to leave," I said sternly.

"I'm glad. Never let me convince myself that I don't deserve because I need to be selfish and have you all to myself," he chuckled lightly.

I smiled to myself at the double meaning. It was true; I was all his and I would never let go.

"Let's get you that Tylenol now," I said leading him to the kitchen, and my future looked a whole lot lighter.

* * *

I promise there will be happiness in the future ;)

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	7. Hold My Heart In Your Hands

**All Characters belong to SM**

* * *

**Hold My Heart in Your Hands  
**

**EPOV**

_December 13, 2005  
_

_I stayed over Edward's house for a sleepover, and a surprise snowstorm hit town. Silently rejoicing I wonder how Edward and I would spend our extra day together since we were snowed in. Alice insisted that I was to spend the day with her instead. After listening to my long and consistent complaint, Alice finally let me trail after Edward. She threw a pair of silk pajamas at me and told me to find him. The silk pajamas were extremely comfortable and breezy. I leaned my ear on the door of Edward's room, and a soft melody float from behind it. His musically voice sang words of love. Softly, he whispered my name as the song came to an end. After a few minutes of silence, I enter the room, and he smiled. Taking me in his arms, I noticed how his hands ran up and down the silk. We spent all day resting in each others' arms and listening to Edward's beautiful compositions. _

I sighed as I closed Bella's journal entry back into the leather bound box. Two weeks had gone by since the cliff incident, and Bella had been over since. Her father had cut her off from all communications. I had already reenter school, and I look forward to going, so I could see her.

Charlie had been furious. I swear, he raged on for about an hour when he found out Bella had almost succeeded in suicide. Bella was only available for visiting hours during five through eight o'clock. I spent every chance I got with her. Exams were finally over, and I knew that Bella would be released from the prison of her house soon. Guilt waved over me. I had forgotten her birthday because it had happened during our rough months. I remembered the small satin bag I had in my locked drawer.

I ran my finger over the words I had written in Braille inside the simple little bracelet. _You hold my heart in your hands._

"Alice, will you-

"Yes, Edward, I would be delighted to give you a ride to Bella's house," she answered.

"Here we are," Alice prompted.

"Do I," I gulped, "look okay?"

Her soft laughter drifted in my ear. "You look lovely, brother."

"I'm not your brother yet, sis," I joked.

"And I am not your sister yet," she replied.

"Touché," I laughed. "Thank you, Alice. I don't know what I would without you. I'm sorry about what happened when you were a child, I'm so glad that Esme took you in. I'm also glad that we never finished the adoption forms."

"Why?" she asked her voice filled with concern.

I lowered my voice to a whisper. "Jasper may not be my closest brother, but that doesn't mean that I don't know how happy you make him."

Her small hand wrapped around mine, and she rested her head on my shoulder for a peaceful moment.

"Go on," Alice said playfully, "go get your lady."

Nervously approaching her door, the satin bag twisted in my hands. My cane hit the door, and I knew it was time to bring Bella closer to me.

"Stop telling me what to do!" Bella's voice screamed from behind the door.

"I'll tell you what to do, and you will like it, young lady," Charlie's voice was tight.

"Why would you do this, Charlie?" I had rarely heard Bella call her father 'Charlie' to his face.

"You are so blinded by your own love for him that you can't even understand what he has put you through. Bella, you are such a bright girl, and I would hate to see all that go to waste just so you could take care of him," Charlie explained.

"We aren't in love, dad," her voice was barely above a whisper. My heart was squeezed tight in her hands as my heart shattered. Had the words she whispered as we dived into the ocean meant nothing but a simple lie? I slumped down on the porch.

Charlie scoffed. "You're blinder than he is! I see the adoration in your eyes when ever you are with him. You can't waste your life on something that will never progress."

I heard Bella burst into tears, and I couldn't help wanting to comfort her even after what she had said.

"Edward and I are the closest friends. Why are you tearing us apart? He means everything to me, and I don't care if I never find a boyfriend because he'll be all I'll ever need. He needs me, too, and he has always been there for me!" Bella's voice was trembling, and the heart in her hands throbbed with compassion.

"What are you going to do when he finds love if you never stop denying how you feel?" Charlie asked.

I wanted to burst through the door and tell them both that I could never love another woman as much I did Bella.

Silence roamed around the house. Sighing, I got up from my resting spot and started my way home.

Bella spoke in a very tiny voice, and I barely heard what she said from where I was standing.

"Than I'll…I'll…"

Bella's sobbed grew louder as did Charlie's shouts. The front door opened and slammed, and Bella's footsteps where headed in my direction. Suddenly, she collided with me, and her head was instantly buried in my chest.

"Ed- Edward!" she cried, "please come with me somewhere away from here."

I agreed quickly, and she led me eagerly to her car. Taking my one of my hands, she drove off. Her small hand trembled in mine, and I rubbed soothing circles on it with my thumb.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

She didn't answer. With my free hand, I leaned over and brushed her cheek. Tears instantly dampened it. She had been silently crying the entire time.

"Don't cry, Bells," I whispered.

"Come on," her voice cracked, "we are here."

She had taken me to the meadow. It was the one true place we could be ourselves. Bella took my hand and led my through the woods even though she knew I knew the way.

Leaning back into the grass, I let out a long sigh as the sunrays warmed me. I took my glasses off and closed my eyes. Softly, I felt Bella's smooth fingertips run off my cheek.

"Edward, what did you hear when you were waiting for me?" she asked.

I hesitated. She wasn't going to be happy. "I heard everything, Bella."

Small arms wrapped around me, and she tucked her head under my chin. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Oh, Bella," I sighed, "you stood up for me, and I would give the world for you. I don't need anyone but you for the rest of my days, and you have always been there for me."

_  
Oh, and by the way, I am so deep in love with you that my heart barely has room for the rest of my family. _My heart and mind screamed the words at my, but my mouth refused to speak.

"Oh, crap!" Bella shouted. "I need to see Alice. I promised her I would be over at three."

"Why?" I asked

"She…set me up with a date,"

Her words echoed in my mind. She didn't understand that I would be here waiting fir her my entire life while she went out on dates.

"What about us?" I whispered.

Her hand stroked my cheek. "What about us, Edward?"

"…never mind. Can you take me home?"

"Sure," she replied disregarding my attempt to tell her why my heart was beating unevenly in my chest.

The car ride was awkward, and Bella made no attempt to break the silence. As soon as we reached the house, she left me in the door way to find Alice. Defeated, I locked the door to room and sat down at my piano. The satin blue bag was left forgotten in my pocket.

****

BPOV

Alice had set me up with this date with the excuse that I need to get out more. She had tried several times during my depression time, but I refused. Something about the name she said made me want to go on this particular date. The name that left Alice's lips instantly reminded me of Edward, and I was compelled to go. We had still been apart, but I was so desperate to be near to anyone who resembled Edward, that I quickly agreed. His name is Eddie.

"Alice, I'm going to go say good-bye to Edward before I leave. Eddie and I are meeting at the new Italian restaurant in Port Angeles," I called before exiting her room.

Before knocking on Edward's door, I heard an angel's voice. I put my ear to the door, and heard a soft song come from the piano.

I had always pleaded to Edward to sing to me, but he always said he couldn't sing. I then realized that I wouldn't be able to say good-bye because if that was Edward's voice, he would have locked the door.

The piano started up again with a soft tune, and I recognized it immediately.

"Hello darkness, my old friend  
I've come to talk with you again  
Because a vision softly creeping  
Left its seeds while I was sleeping  
And the vision that was planted in my brain  
Still remains  
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone  
Narrow streets of cobblestone  
'Neath the halo of a street lamp  
I turned my collar to the cold and damp  
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light  
That split the night  
And touched the sound of silence."

The lyrics of "Sound of Silence," by Simon and Garfunkel flowed to my ears. His voice was beautiful. It was deep, but not to deep. It was soft and yet strong. It was perfect.

At that moment, I knew that I had no desire to go on this date. What I wanted was Edward, and no matter how much I denied it, I would wait around for him for an eternity. After a tear ran down my face, I left the house without looking back.

After arriving at the restaurant, I took a seat at the reserved both and waited for Eddie. A man walked into the room and was escorted to my table.

"Bella?" he asked.

I nodded. His voice was hard and gruff unlike Edward's velvet one.

"You look lovely tonight," he said trying to make small talk.

I blushed, remembering who Alice had forced me into this tiny black dress. I silently thanked God that our waiter had approached.

Eddie and I talked uneasily, and I couldn't bare to be here another moment. I wanted to go home and curl into Edward's warm body.

Eddie's hair was soft brown, and his eyes were a dull blue unlike Edward's beautiful shimmering green orbs.

After our meal, neither of us desired to stick around, so we said our farewell. After driving for about five minutes, I pulled over into the entrance of the park.

I walked aimlessly around until I found myself very lost in the small dark woods. Edward and I use to pull in here, but I never could remember my way out.

A bush rustled, and I turned quickly. Eddie stood before me, and I sighed in relief until a strong hint of alcohol blew in my nose. I froze, he was drunk.

Before I had time to react, he had me against the tree, and he was ripping my dress to shreds. I cried out and screamed.

"Help! Someone help me!" I shouted, but it was no use.

"Hush, doll, everything is going to be alright. It always hurts the first time," the monster grinned.

My back ripped open from the rough bark as he menacingly trusted into me.

"Help!" I cried. "Edward, help me please."

A hand came across my face.

"My name is Eddie not Edward, you piece of shit. Now, shut the fuck up," he sneered.

I tried to push him away, but he had my held time in one of his above my head. My legs refused to work due to the pain that spread all over my body. Finally, I kicked at him, but it only did me harm. Grabbing it in his free hand, he twisted my leg in an away it isn't meant to go, and a sickening snap filled the air.

"Help!" I cried out.

Suddenly, I was dropped against the cool ground, and another man was above me.

Edward's green eyes pierced into mine. "Bella? Bella where are you?"

"I'm right below you, Edward," I whispered with the remainder of my strength. I don't know how he did it, but he found me and saved me. Darkness swallowed me whole.

* * *

Sorry about thelong wait and any grammer mistakes. I don't know how to write a rape scene. ^^;

Please Review


	8. Come Together

All Characters belong to SM

* * *

**Come Together  
**

**EPOV**

After a quick call to Emmett and 911, I held an unconscious Bella in my arms. I could feel her bare skin against my hands, but I had time to find that arousing. Bella was in pain, and I couldn't bare it. Her pain was my pain. Something thick and moist wetted my hands, and I realized that her back was excessively bleeding. I could hear the ambulance sirens. Picking her up, I tried not to hit any trees as I fought my way back the way I had come.

My foot would hit a stump every once in a while, but I finally felt someone grasp my arms. It was Emmett. He had arrived before the paramedics.

"What has happened, brother?" he asked.

"I- I heard her screams. I wasn't even sure if it was her until she cried out my name. I snuck up behind whoever was raping her and knocked him  
out with my cane."

Tears flowed from the bottom of my sunglasses, and Emmett took Bella from me even though I protested.

"I need her," I whispered.

I could feel Emmett's strange gaze bore into me from what I had said. Obviously, he would have thought that she would need me for protection, but I was the one who actually needed her. Holding her in my arms was the only way to be sure that she was safe.

The sirens grew louder, and I assumed they had finally arrived. Several voices were heard, and Emmett handed Bella to me.

Another pair of arms started to tug on her, and I released her unwillingly.

"I'm coming with you," I said taking a hold of what I hoped was the shoulder of the mystery person.

"Let me help you up," the voice belonged to a woman, and she thankful saw that I could was blind. She pulled me up into the ambulance and guided me to a side seat. My hands searched in front of me for Bella. Finally, I grasped her hand in both of mine and prayed silently for her safety.

In what seemed a life time, we finally arrived at the hospital. I was left behind as the nurses rushed my love to the emergency room.

I had been there several times with Carlisle. Esme came to my aid and assisted me to the waiting room until we were allowed to be with Bella. My hands ached to hold her again, and my heart reached out to keep hers beating.

Why can't it just be you and me in peace anymore? I asked myself.

Hours ticked by, and I my mind was haunted horrible things that could had gone wrong. Esme held my hand tight because she cared for Bella almost as much as I did.

When the nurse told us that we could visit Bella, but only one at a time, I immediately went. The nurse led me quickly to her room while explaining why to be cautious. I didn't hear her words for my mind was focused completely on the girl that lied inside the door.

When I entered, my cane hit the end of what I hoped was the end of the bed. Trailing around it, my hand collided with flesh. Goosebumps were raised on the hand, and I clutched it with all of my might. I sat in an uncomfortably chair that was placed near me. Overcome with exhaustion, I rested my forehead on the hand and fell into darkness.

****

BPOV

Soft groans slipped from my mouth as I began to feel my body again. Something pleasantly warm tickled my hand, and I looked down curiously. A man had his head down resting on my hand which was clutched tight in his own. A hood covered the top of his head.

Memories rushed into my mind. All the events that had taken place. The tragedy that had become of me. I yanked my hand back from the man and suddenly feared that he would awaken and harm like the other.

"Bella?" the man asked. My heart skipped a beat. The monster had followed me here was sitting before me.

"Bella," the man asked again, "are you awake?"

My breathing accelerated. His hands were swiftly connected to my cheeks, and the blood rushed from my face.

"Please don't hurt me again!" I gasped wildly in attempt to catch a deep breath.

"It's me, Bella," the man said quietly. Funny, the man before me had a richer more velvety voice than the monster.

The tears flowed endlessly. "What more do you want from me? Have you not taken enough?"

"It's me, Edward," the man whispered pleadingly, "I will never harm you."

He threw down his hood. My eyes must be malfunctioning. His hair was redder than at dinner. The thick black glasses were tossed aimlessly into the corner of the room, and wide sparkling eyes stared at me.

Instantly, my fear vanished, and I melted into the arms of my savior. A ring of light seemed to glow around his body as he towered over me trying to reach out for me.

"Oh, Edward," I cried, "you saved me. You protected me. How did you find me?"

He began to answer when another man walked through the door. Automatically afraid, I hid myself in Edward's arms where I knew that I could be safe from any danger that might come my way.

"Miss Swan, I'm happy to see that you are awake," the deep voice of Dr. Mills spoke to me. I glanced politely at him and listened intently.

Apparently, the monster was being held in another room. After recovering, I would have to go to court. The monster would be spending time in prison anyway, but a testimony would determine the number of years.

My leg had been badly broken, and I was obviously suffering from something the nurses call "man phobia." A silly name made up ages ago due to a young woman who never married because she was afraid of men. Apparently, the syndromes were similar to what I was experience. My thrust levels were shot.

Charlie came to check on me, but my arms shook as he reached out to hold me.

"Where is my little sis?" Emmett's voice roared as he entered the room. He came right over to where Edward and were sitting and hugged me. I flinched away automatically.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he whispered, but he did not release me. Emmett stroked my hair lovingly, and I felt comforted in his presence.

"Emmett," Edward warned, but Emmett continued to hold me gentle in his arms. He had always called me little sis.

After he left, I tugged on Edward's hand.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I'm cold. Will you hold me?"

Moving the endless cords that had me hooked up to several machines, I finally made room for him next to me. He stumbled and landed right on me.

A sharp intake of air filled my lungs as I felt the burning scorch of pain from my back.

"Bella! Bella, I'm so sorry. Are you alright?" he fussed.

His arms flailed about as his tried to assure himself that I was alright. The warm tips of his fingers accidentally brushed over my left breast and a small gasp left my mouth.

Finally, his hands rested on my cheeks as he towered above me.

"Are you alright?" he repeated.

"Ye- yes," my voice shook.

Tender soft lips were on mine, and I panicked on for a brief moment for his were soft unlike the monster's rough leather ones. I gently part my lips, and he slowly made his way in. Snuggling down beside me, Edward made himself comfortable without breaking our tender embrace.

"Why did you come after on the night of the attack?" I asked after catching my breath.

Before he had a chance to answer, the doctor came in. I hid my face in the soft fabric of Edward's shirt.

"I don't think he should be on the bed with you. He may accidentally hit your injuries," the doctor said. So he knew that Edward was blind.

"I was cold," I answer softly.

He looked at me curiously, but turned on his heels toward the door.

"By the way," the doctor said, "we need to run a few tests before we release you."

Dr. Mills wasn't kidding when he said a few. The nurses took several urine test and blood test of different types.

"Bella, dear, please relax and try to rest," Edward soothed but it did no good. My stomach was aching, and my senses were hyper alert. The nurse followed by Edward's family and Charlie looked troubled, and I knew that she carried bad news.

Sensing my stress, Edward's grip on my hand increased. Still holding me tight on the bed, Edward whispered soothing words as the rest of the family made themselves comfortable.

"What is it?" I burst out.

"I'm sorry, my dear," she hesitated and my body shook violently, "you are pregnant."

My body froze for my mind was unable to comprehend the simple words that had left the mouth of the messenger. Tears betrayed my eyes, and I wept.

Seeing there was no way to sooth me, the nursed hurried out of the room. Seven pairs of eyes stared at me plus another pair of beautiful unfocused green orbs.

Edward delicately took my hand, and harsh choked uncontrolled sobs shook my frame violently as my terror was reveled. I was truly afraid to be a mother. I had no way to support myself except for the job I held at Newton's bookstore. Now that I was graduated, my college options were wide and waiting for me. A child would keep from my work, studies, and life. I could see through the tears that clouded my vision to see all the many family members who were holding me. Helplessly, I leaned into Edward and whispered a few soft words.

"Take me home."

* * *

Sorry for the very long delay. My internet decided it didn't like me. :(

I really hated how this chapter turned out. All the content was important, but I still hate it. Please Review. I'm also sorry about the length being short.


	9. Phone Call

Sorry for all the confusion. It was brought to my attention that part of the chapter had not downloaded when I submitted the chapter months ago. The new half should clear up any questions you have regarding the baby.

All characters belong to SM

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Charlie was furious. I had never seen him so livid in my life. Bella had asked me to stay with her at the house, but Charlie insisted that I went home to my own family.

"Edward, please stay," Bella whimpered as I released her from my grasp.

"Your father wishes for me to go home. I think he may need some time realizing what has happened." I left her with a kiss on the forehead. Alice was waiting for me in her car.

"Why didn't you stop in and say hello? You know that Charlie adores you."

Alice sighed, "I'm afraid he will be angry with me for setting Bella up with such a bastard. If I would have known that he was going to…to…" her voice tightened.

I reached my hand out to her, and she took it gently. No more needed to be said than what was already said.

I finished my homework and began to work on a new composition when the phone rang obnoxiously. I hurried out of my room to hear Carlisle yelling over the phone, a first for him.

"Edward, get in the car," he growled after slamming the phone.

"Where are we going?" I asked nervously, trying to think if I had done anything lately that would cause such rage.

"The Swan Residence," was the curt answer that he left his final words hanging unsettling in throughout the house.

My head swirled as she recalled the abrupt visit she had with Carlisle and Edward. A growled came from inside, and my hands flew to her stomach…

_"Bella, I have some news that I believe well bring you comfort." Carlisle had said, but his tight angered voice did not sooth her. "Someone used your name, Bella." _

_"I don't understand," I had said at the time, cowering away from him. _

_"The baby!"_

_"What about it?" my voice raised to almost a yell. _

_"There is no baby! How could we have been as dense as too believe you could conceive a child after one night. _


	10. Reminders

Band competitions have been held on Saturdays, which are my main writing days. This update was long over due.

Characters belong to SM

* * *

I avoided Edward for a couple of weeks while the baby incident blew over. He attempted, on many occasions, to speak with me, but humiliation overrode my will to hear him out.

The night Carlisle and Edward walked through the door was an unforgettable one. Edward's expression seemed to match mine. We stood confused as Carlisle paced in the small blue kitchen brightened by the yellow cupboards. Finally the words he appeared to be looking for came to him. The words that made me responded with so many emotions that I felt my knees go numb. I gripped the table for support as he told how someone had used my name just a few nights ago. Apparently, none of the nurses remember what identity thief had looked like.

When I booked it out of the tiny kitchen with the yellow cupboards, Edward's silent mood hung above my head like a sword, and I remember the words he had spoken hardly audible when he tried to soothe away my worries. _I'll be there for you, Bella. Protection might not be my specialty, but I'll save you until you tell me to go_

I felt sick that night. Had he hoped that I was pregnant? I wanted to know the answer so badly that I almost gathered the courage to march over to his house and ask. Almost_._

My rational protective side for Edward screamed at the thought. Edward would never wish something like that upon me. I had never taken into consideration that all Edward ever told me he wanted was to be by me.

The words he spoke when he was young and as we grew together were just words in my mind, never promises. Maybe he wanted me to need someone by me, something that would cause me to need his presence.

I sobbed that night in realization, but I still ignored him, embarrassed by my conclusions.

College loomed ahead, and Charlie and I had just finished filling out the last forms for my induction into Seattle University.

Carlisle had informed me just a few days ago that Edward wasn't sure where he wanted to go, so he was going to take a semester off. Edward had received quite a large scholarship for his music ability, not that he needed it in the least, to Seattle University.

Even though Edward and my friendship seemed to be on hold, the detail of him not following me to college sting. We had always planned to go together and room in the same dorm building so he wouldn't have to walk far to get to me.

On the last day of summer before I left for college, I hiked out to the meadow to try to remember all the wonderful times Edward and I had had. But as I climbed my way through the vegetation only the last visit adulterated my mind.

It was before my…date, if one calls it that, and I had stolen Edward away. My father and I had gotten into a fight about him, and I just needed to get away from society's horrid impact.

As I told him I had a date set up, I saw a crease line his forehead and shadows darken his face. "What about us?" He had whispered. I disregarded the question easily, thinking nothing of it. But, I finally understood, and it only took a date rape and several fights to realize it.

Edward loved me. Or, at least he did before I selfishly ignored him for my own reasons even after he saved my skin.

In deep regret of coming to the meadow, I sat down in the swaying grass and let the sun soak into my skin.

I wasn't quiet sure how long I sat there. Sunshine had dimmed itself, and night approached.

"Goodbye," I whispered to the ocean waves of green. "I'll be back sometime."

When I turned away from my memories and simple childhood, I found a man, _the_ man standing at the edge of the meadow. But then, he ran. For a blind boy, he sure could run. I saw he stumble only once before he picked up his pace and made it out long before I ever would.

And so, I whispered another goodbye in the direction he had run, and continued my trek out.

The next morning, I packed up my dorm equipment and clothes in my truck. Charlie insisted in buying me a new comforter so my old one could stay home for when I came back on occasional weekends. Although he was a quiet man, Charlie was horrible with goodbyes and ended up crying softly against my hair when we embraced for the last tome before I left. His tears caused mine, and so we cried together.

"Come back home and visit me, kiddo," he called out when I hopped into my old truck.

"I will! I love you, Dad!" He smiled brilliant, and I drove off out of Forks.

I decided to stop at a rest stop on the highway to use the restroom and grab a cup of coffee. When I get back into my truck, I noticed a note sitting on the passenger seat.

_Dearest Bella,_

_I'm sorry about the other day in the meadow. Just the thought of having to say goodbye was not a pleasant one, so I left you this note. I hope that one day we will meet_ _up again. Words can't be put into sentences to tell you how much I wish things were different. _

The handwriting was Esme's, but at the bottom of the letter in perfect script was a name, _the name,_ that I had been avoiding for so long. Edward.

So, I sat in my truck and sobbed at that rest stop until an officer came up to my window to ask if I was alright.

Alice and I were rooming together in college. She was bubbly and bouncy as she whirled around the room decorating it to her liking which I had issue with. No issue with her except for the fact that she was my constant reminder of him.

"Cheer up, Bella," Alice giggled when she hung up her overly large clock in the small living room. "You're washing out the color in my new rug."

The rug she was referring to was obnoxiously bright pink. I still couldn't past the reminder of him to tell Alice just how much I hated pink.

I went to my room and started to unpack. A few sweaters, some t-shirts, a couple pairs of pajamas, and a nice dress shirt hung in my wardrobe. A brushed the wrinkles out of my new comforter which was purple. Purple was like my comforter at home, and he always sat on my comforter.

I threw down my pillow angrily. Everything in my life led back to him, but now I had a new beginning, a new start.

"Where are you going?" Alice asked, eyeing my curiously when I headed towards the door.

"I'm going to take a drive and look around town."

"Ooo!" she squealed," "can I tag along?"

She pouted, and I had the hardest time denying that face. Jasper, thank goodness, save me the trouble. As soon as I opened the door, he smacked me in the face.

"Bella!" I stumbled back, and he went grab me. "I didn't mean to hit you. I was only going to knock on the door, I swear!"

I moved away from his hold, panic silently probing my mind,

He looked humiliated and concerned all at the same time. When I released me, I felt at ease. So, I just laughed, and Alice made her way over.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Her tiny fingers swept over my forehead, and I flinched away. "Tender?"

I nodded but left the dorm building anyway. The fresh crisp air hit me like a second punch, and my nerves came alive.

There was a small pizza place a couple blocks down from the dorm building, so I added their number into my contacts knowing that Alice and I would soon discover the college diet which consisted of pizza and Pepsi.

When I headed back to the dorm I was pleasantly surprised that Alice had sent Jasper home so the two of us could watch a romance together. I loved movie night with Alice…but romance movies were not at the top of my list at the moment. I sat through the movie with her anyway.

"What a hypocrite," Alice commented on one of the characters' behavior.

Hypocrite. I scoffed at the word which I would never use again. The word described not only the actor but me as well. I had sent Edward away, distanced myself from him yet I longed for his presence and clung to his simple note.

"Bella? Hello, earth to Bella!" Alice waved her hand in front of my face, and I snapped out of the daze I hadn't realized I'd entered.

"What?" I asked back.

"The movie ended like five minutes ago. Are you alright?"

I nodded and hurried off to my room.

My classes were interesting. I didn't have to wake up extremely early for any of my classes. I did happen to have one evening class which Jasper promised to walk me home from. I made sure all my seats were next to other girl students.

Victoria was in my Calculus class, and she was in the dorm building across from my own. I told her of my condition after we lounged around the dorms together a few times.

Four months past and the reminders were fading except for the presence of Alice and Jasper. I had gone out and bought new clothes from the college bookstore. I tried dating once. His name was James, but after the first date when he tried to hug me, I rushed to break it off.

I set him up with Victoria, and they ended up hitting it off. But every time that I was with her when he picked her up, James always eyed me.

The new semester was coming up as well as exams. I was excited for the break. Charlie was coming up to visit Alice and me for Thanksgiving. But, then I thought about Edward. Would he come to Seattle for college like he had planned or would he stay away? I couldn't honestly answer which one I would prefer.

Exams flew by quickly.

"Ugh, I'm pretty sure I just bombed that calculus exam," Victoria groaned as we made our way back to the dorms.

"Did you study at all last night?" I asked eyeing her curiously.

"Oh, I studied," she defended herself, "just not calculus."

I shivered. "T.m.i!" I almost yelled. She giggled at my response.

"James didn't have any exams today," she said obviously proud of herself. "Speaking of James, he said his new neighbor is really nice. Apparently he moved in a few days earlier to explore campus."

"So?"

"So, James was wondering if you would join us on a double date tonight with the new guy!"

I shook my head rapidly. "Sorry, Vicky, I just can't. Remember what happened last time."

She sighed recalling my breakdown. "Please just give him a chance. The guy seems really shy."

"I'll think about it. What's his name?" I asked.

"Not sure. James didn't mention last night." She winked at me.

"Tonight?" I asked. "Shouldn't you let the poor guy settle in first?"

Vicky shook her head. "Nah, I'm sure he'd rather go on a date with a lovely looking college lady."

"Whatever. You guys can come by my place around six, I guess."

Victoria cheered before making her way to her own dorm building. I had a horrid feeling about the looming date which I had no interest of going on. Vicky was always persistent, and Alice and I had learned to just go along with her.

When I entered my room, Alice wasn't present.

_How odd…_

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Please review!


	11. Have We Met?

Bad News: This chapters a shortie. Please excuse grammar mistakes, and they will be fixed at a later date.

All Characters belong to SM

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I looked into my closet helplessly. I idly wondered what Alice would say to wear, but unable to decide, I dialed her number. Strangely enough, she didn't answer my call. White fluff caught my eye, and I noticed that snow had begun to cover the ground.

I glanced back at my closet and pulled out a pair of skinny jeans along with my dark scarlet form-fitting sweater. The clock read a quarter to five, so I pulled on my Chuck Taylors trudged out into the cold. Snow had already littered itself in my hair by the time I had made it to Victoria's building. She smiled widely when I entered.

"Alice isn't home, is she?" I groaned at what her comment meant. I didn't look up to her standards. I shook my head. "I'll fix up your hair."

Vicky was faster at straightening than anyone I had ever seen. The extra five minutes we had we used to flatten my hair like a board.

A knock sounded and we both ran towards the door, and the obstruction was yank out of the way.

Bronze hair…strong chest...dark glass covered eyes…

I wanted to faint. I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. I wanted to kiss him all over, and I wanted to run away from him again.

But I got nothing of the kind.

"I'm Edward Cullen," The boy trusted his hand out in front of him, almost hitting James.

"Dude, she's that way," James whispered.

Edward's face flushed bright, and he changed the direction of his hand.

I took his hand in mine, "Isabella."

Three gasps came from the others. "He can touch you?" James nearly shrieked, and Vicky gave him a jealous look probably remembering the reason why he moved to her after me.

Edward appeared startled. "Why wouldn't I be able to touch her?" He quickly dropped my hand as if he had worried if he's harmed me in some way.

I lifted a finger to my lips, and saw Victoria understand. "No reason," she giggled.

James looked dumbfounded, but he followed Vicky mindless to the car.

"Edward and I are going to go in my car, so we'll meet you there. Is that alright with you, Edward?" I asked, directing my attention to him. He nodded, so I took his hand in mine. I led him to my car, and the two of us raced off after James and Victoria.

Edward appeared nervous for he played mindlessly with the bottom of his beige jacket and attempted to make small talk. He seemed relieved when he felt the car come to a stop and be put into park.

The other couple was already seated, and I lead Edward by the hand to our table. James' glare had no effect on Edward considering the blind thing, but James gave his best effort anyway.

When the menus arrived, Edward cleared his throat softly and leaned towards me. "Isabella, can you read some of the choices for me?"

I took a quick glance at the other couple and saw they were engaged in a conversation, so I leaned into him. Knowing his favorite was shrimp, the choices were easy to pick from. "There is lobster, frog legs, and shrimp with cocktail sauce." My lips innocently brushed his ear while I talked, He moaned quietly. "What is it, Edward?"

He flushed, "Oh, the shrimp sounds really excellent."

Half way through dinner, Edward was enjoying his shrimp when he didn't left the piece high enough. The tail caught on the edge of the bowl and cocktail sauce dripped all over Edward's dark jeans.

"Shit," he mumbled. James chuckled and I glared him down.

"Fuck you, James," I spat, and then it was Vicky's turn to laugh. I grabbed Edward's hands and pulled him up from the table. One of the waitresses must had seen the quarrel and approached. I had done all the calculations in my head when ordering and was prepared with a waded up clump of bills.

I led him to my car and took off in a hurry.

"Damn James," I growled.

"I'm sorry, Isabella. I hope I didn't ruin your night." Edward had been silent for the majority of the ride, but he finally stuttered out words. "Perhaps you'll let me take you out sometime."

I sighed trying to control myself, "that sounds wonderful, thank you." He didn't speak for the remaining time. "Do you want to come to my apartment? My roommate isn't around."

He nodded.

True to my words, Alice wasn't around. I set my purse on the kitchen counter and turned on some of the lights. Edward stood by the door and jumped nervously when I came near.

I brought him over to my couch. When the back of his knees hit the cushions, he sat. "Don't be nervous," I whispered.

"Does it bother you that I'm blind?" he asked, obviously still nervous.

I shook my head even though he couldn't see it. "No, you seem wonderful without your sight."

After making small talk for quick some time, I couldn't hold back. The way his hand covered mine and the way his lovely aroma filled the air was intoxicating. I began to rub and sooth his tight shoulders before I leaned my face into his neck.

Edward didn't make a sound nor did he reject me as I ventured farther. My hands rested on his covered chest while my teeth tugged on his earlobe. His hands found themselves resting on my thighs, and he leaned back into me.

"Bella, kiss him. I wanted to hold and caress him. I wanted to run from my humiliating Bella, Bella," he chanted and I froze. He turned towards me and took my face in his hands. "Do you honestly believe that I wouldn't recognize your voice? After all these years of being your friend, I would never forget it."

_Friend. _The word scarred, but I knew somewhere that he loved me. But, he had told me so many times that perhaps it hurt him too much to feel for me.

I wanted to hug him. I wanted to of trying to hide from him. I wanted to be away from the guilt.

But I got nothing of the sort.

"What time is it?" he asked. I looked at the clock which loomed over our heads.

"It's almost eleven. Do you need a ride back to your dorm?"

Edward shook his head. "If he keeps his word, Jasper should be waiting in his car out side the building for me."

"If Jasper is out there, then do you know where Alice is?" I asked. He shook his head again.

"I haven't seen her lately, but I have to go. Please, call me soon." Edward grabbed me in a quick embrace then released much too early. Feeling his way out, Edward grabbed for his cane in hopes of not falling down the down on his way to Jasper's car.

He turned toward my general area on last time. "You are the only person besides my family who openly admitted that my blindness did not bother you."

_Guilt. _I felt it burn through me for I had pretended to be someone else to kept Edward in the dark, metaphorically speaking because he was already blind. Edward knew me so well that he didn't need to touch my face. Memorizing my voice and answers, he knew me better than anyone with sight ever would.

I wanted to run after him. I wanted to cry with him. I wanted to cry for him. I wanted to apologize for all my many petty mistakes.

But I couldn't make it off the couch.

His sudden appearance and words had stunned me to my spot, and my mind couldn't process anything I wanted my body to do except for repeating and examining his words.

Alice was my next concern. If she wasn't with Jasper, and Edward didn't know where she was, then where? I trusted her with my life, but the insist thought brought a whole another round of guilt.

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